All about my Dad

This month is particularly hard for me. 

If you are a follower of my blog thus far then you already know that my Dad passed away in 2015.

2015 was also the year I really buckled down. So today's blog is a tribute to my dad and what I know about him.

I was the first born child and grandchild on both sides of my family.

My dad was 21 years old when I was born, which blows my flipping mind. I'm almost 30 and cannot imagine having a kid that young. I'm just a baby myself!

My dad has always been a hard worker. He grew up working for everything he had. When I was born he worked multiple jobs to help me and my little brother grow and have everything I would need.

I grew up relatively happy and uncomplicated.

I started doing art with my Granny (dad's mom) and he was absolutely ecstatic. My dad loved his mother and was happy for me to share something creative.

He bought me any sketchbook and any art supplies that I wanted. Even when we didn't have that much.

I didn't understand as a child how important that was. I knew not to ask for anything because my family was broke but I still was given everything.

I was my daddy's baby girl. He was the first man I ever loved.

When I grew older, my parents got a divorce. It was messy and nasty. And still today I feel the effects of it. I was lead to believe that my father didn't want me and didn't care about me. 

I grew up through my teens believing this and resenting him for the pain I had.

I was diagnosed young with depression and anxiety. I've always had it and don't know what life is like without it.

I didn't want to see or do anything with my dad. Something I deeply regret. I had this relationship with him until I was 23. He never stopped caring for me. He constantly told me how proud he was. Hoarding all my old sketches and paintings like a proud parent bragging about their kid.

I felt sad that I didn't have a great relationship with him and really tried to make it from age 23 and up. He was even more ecstatic when my little half sister showed an interest in art too!

From 23 up, I tried my hardest to be the woman that deserved my dad's praise.

I went back to school and tried my best to make it in my adult life. That unfortunately was hurtful on my art career. I had all but given up the possibility that I could become the famous artist my dad already saw in me. So my art took the back burner for a couple of years.

Ironically, the last conversation I had with him was about my grades in school. I was going to school for massage at the time. He asked about my art and I told him that I haven't really had time to do it with all the studying. 

He said, "Well, I am proud of grades, but don't stop doing your art stuff. I don't want you to give that up. When you get famous, don't forget about the little people."

I brushed it aside. I wouldn't give it up, but it wasn't my priority.

He died a few months later in March.

He was riding his motorcycle to a meeting for a great cause (BIKER'S AGAINST CHILD ABUSE). He got hit by a car and died before getting to the hospital. He was only 47 about to turn 48 in exactly a week.

I was absolutely crushed. My number one fan, my dad was gone. I still didn't even do any art between that last conversation and the day he died.

I didn't know what my purpose was. My dad was gone and I still never made anything good for myself to make me worthy of his praise.

I walked around in darkness for until September. I quit school and moved back home. I had nothing but a little pug puppy and a loving supportive fiance.

I became Arlie Opal and decided that I still wanted to make my dad proud of me even if he wasn't here.

I promised myself I would and my artwork was the one thing he was most proud of. So I buckled down, worked extremely hard and now draw or paint nearly everyday. 

I'm still not the most popular artist but I am stubborn and persistent. The first painting that I did in years was of my dad. And I hope one day that I can still become the woman deserving of his praise.

Keep watch of my growth on my social media accounts!

Instagram: @arlieopal

Tumblr: arlieopal.tumblr.com

Twitter: @Arlie_Opal

Everything else: Google Arlie Opal

I will try to post a new blog every Wednesday.

Comment below on what inspires you to keep going when the going gets tough.